Lost Again

 19th Nov 2023, India lost the worldcup to Australia again. That yellow jersey country now has 6 world cups can you believe that? But the point anyway is not about who won, the point, for obvious obvious reasons, is what I am doing as I watch this world cup series.

I was watching the match with PG friends, everyone was excited in the beginning but soon all the room went silent and sad. The opposite team was playing well and we were going loose the WC again. Right today as I was watching this finals I am a first year engineering student at NIE mysore, who took admission through comedk after even taking a drop year for jee and miserably failing at it. 

In the last world cup i.e 2019, I remember I was watching the quarter finals in hospital bed. I was hospitalized due to dengue fever. I also remember that on the same hospital bed I unboxed my dad's new phone, discovered indian hip hop and I also remember... Im not sure if I can still reveal sensitive information of my life here. But lets just not remember the worst worst cases. Soon I was discharged from the hospital and I was able to watch the finals at home. England vs Newzealand it was. I liked kane williamson so I wanted his team New Zealand to win but just like everytime, what I want never happens, so New Zealand lost. The match ended in a super over, Jeffry Archer was bowling as far as I remember. Ben stokes and joss buttler played real well that day. Williamson smiled through all the sadness. My man he is!

The previous world cup i.e in 2015 I was watching India vs Aus semi finals in Anusha's home. I along with family members had went there to discuss something, I dont remember what exactly though. There too India lost miserably and Aus went on to win the finals defeating New Zealand. At that moment I think I had just finished 5th grade and the vacations were on. 5th std vacations was something very special and delightful. I woke up at 10 everyday and sat infront of TV whole day. i watched cartoon in the morning and some hollywood movie in afternoon. It was a nice sweet routine. Soon school started and 6th grade... The worst fucking year in school life.

Lets jump to 2011 WC. Yes yes I remember that final match where India won the finals against Srilanka. Malinga was on peak that day, but so was dhoni and gautam gambhir. The joy of Indians and Indian cricket team that day was on cloud 9. The match ended late in the night around 12 i guess and sky shots were fired in my colony. I saw the photo of happy ICT celebrating in the newspaper next day. I guess I was still in 1st grade at that time and I don't remember anything much.

So where will I be in the next WC? 2027. Final year of engineering maybe or even a passout. Who knows if I will still be alive even. I might commit suicide any day at this point. Parents are the only fucking reason why I am still alive. If I had an brother then trust me I'd have gone long back. I want to give my parents a good life and thats why I am still here. That is why I am still not completely giving up and still trying some way or other.